(based on actual events)
The Rheumatoids on Planet Rheuma sent me a care package. They’re always so nice. There’s a special comb for my feathers, bees wax to polish my third leg with, a file for my teeth, a fuzzy warm blanket, a bottle of cave water, and a big bag of chocolate chip cookies. I’ll have to remember to donate to their Orphaned Trigots Fund next time I’m there. It’s really tragic to see orphaned Trigots. I cry every time. They look so … forlorn.
I haven’t had any luck getting my insurance changed yet ... so I can find some new doctors. It seems all the carriers have adopted the same standard plan of coverage and so there’s not much point in changing. It’s all the same now. I may have to look out-system.
Oh, but I haven’t told you about the most important news I’ve ever had! I got an e-gram last week from the Regulatory Aide Guild out in the Lapourii Cluster. They’ve been searching for decades now to find the lost heiress to the throne of Brikduttt (out in the Lapourii Cluster.) You’ve heard the story, haven’t you? That’s where Emperor Rawdniff Greeee The Great was assassinated ... and his greatgranddaughter, Princess Annydella See, who was a child at the time (and the only heir to Rawdniff's throne,) was kidnapped. She's been missing since.
The Rheumatoids on Planet Rheuma sent me a care package. They’re always so nice. There’s a special comb for my feathers, bees wax to polish my third leg with, a file for my teeth, a fuzzy warm blanket, a bottle of cave water, and a big bag of chocolate chip cookies. I’ll have to remember to donate to their Orphaned Trigots Fund next time I’m there. It’s really tragic to see orphaned Trigots. I cry every time. They look so … forlorn.
I haven’t had any luck getting my insurance changed yet ... so I can find some new doctors. It seems all the carriers have adopted the same standard plan of coverage and so there’s not much point in changing. It’s all the same now. I may have to look out-system.
Oh, but I haven’t told you about the most important news I’ve ever had! I got an e-gram last week from the Regulatory Aide Guild out in the Lapourii Cluster. They’ve been searching for decades now to find the lost heiress to the throne of Brikduttt (out in the Lapourii Cluster.) You’ve heard the story, haven’t you? That’s where Emperor Rawdniff Greeee The Great was assassinated ... and his greatgranddaughter, Princess Annydella See, who was a child at the time (and the only heir to Rawdniff's throne,) was kidnapped. She's been missing since.
She’s the princess the entire universe has been looking for … the girl they say is the richest being in the universe plus all adjacent dimensions ... the girl everyone wants to be. A puppet government has been in place since Rawdniff was killed and the princess disappeared ... and that's who's been running things over there. They asked The Regulatory Aide Guild to help them find Princess Annydella See so she can be restored to the throne.
And that's who I got the e-gram from, The Regulatory Aide Guild. They want me to come give them a DNA sample.
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1 comment:
Very unique writing. Can't wait to read more. Why didn't I read you blogs sooner? : )
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